the definitive guide to the archetypal classes of Hibernia

[Schede]

hab ich eben gefunden, und für witzig befunden.

Hibernia, where every battle some guy /yell?s ?FREEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM? and thinks It?s cool.

My name is Tyfud, I give you ?The definitive guide to the archetypal classes of Hibernia?

Chapter 1: Guardians

Spear Hero ? Always found charging after any class that remotely looks like it?s wearing chain mail. The Spear Hero is marked by his pride, how much damage he can do to a cleric in one hit, and with his high parry. Anytime he parry?s he will be sure to let the rest of the party know that he specced full Spear/full Parry. When the Spear hero inevitably dies, it?s to an archer or mage. He will then continue to ask why, with a +65 in parry, he still can?t parry arrows or spells. Every so often you can see a Spear hero turn into a Moose and drive fear into the hearts of enemies.
Typical quotes:
?F**K, I moosed on accident?..oh well /dance /dance /dance??
?OMG, MOOSE + IP + FA ROCKS!!?
?Did you see me two shot that Minstrel??
?That Zerker hit me for HOW MUCH??
?What do you mean I have 492 seconds left on purge??
?Damnitt mezzed?
?Need Rezz?

Blunt and Shield Hero ? Commonly seen protecting their casters, because it?s ?What they?re good at?. The Blunt and Shield Hero?s have very serious issues with his spear + parry brethren, and constantly get on their case for taking ?His kills?. He takes pride in his Shield Stun however, and makes sure everyone in the group knows that he shield stunned the enemy mages. He also continues to /guard random people. When the Shield Hero blocks for another person, he?ll insist that he saved their life. His goal in life is to find another Shield specced hero so that they can /guard each other.
Typical quotes:
?I still can?t kill anyone in 9 seconds?
?Can I get Dex buffs please??
?I hit him for 80 and he hit me for 700??
?I blocked 18 times that fight!?
?Holy crap, did you see how long that fight lasted between me and the Paladin? Anyone still up?
?F**K, I moosed on accident?..oh well /dance /dance /dance??
?Need a Rezz for my group SE of here. Follow me.?

Blademaster ? A whirling dervish of steel. The people who rolled this class probably thought that they were something akin to a bad ass swordsman in an Anime, and will pick a Celt specifically for the spiky hair. Unfortunately this is quite possibly the worst class in the game. You can find them all tired, poor, huddled in masses, yearning for freedom. The Blademasters hate their class with a passion, constantly spamming /g and /gu with derogatory comments about how they got the crap kicked out of them by . However, given the chance, they still won?t trade their class out for another as they are determined to make it work. All BM?s live for the day that their class will ?r0xx0rz j0r b0xx0rz?. If they do manage to kill someone, they will attach the death spam to their signature on the VN boards.
Typical quotes:
?ANOTHER timer based ability????!?!??
?Why can?t I hit like a Zerker??
?A Ranger out tanked me /cry?
?Did you see that??? He tried to use a rear style on me and I EVADED HIM!!?
?It would take me too long to level another class.?
?Damnitt, need Rezz?
?Need another Rezz?

Champion ? Insti-Blasting, insti-snaring, insti-debuffing 9 second stun LW styles, these are the things that Champions have wet dreams about. They suffered through 50 levels of PVE torment where they were shunned from groups because they weren?t a ?Real? tank. Now, they are given a 9 second rear stun style and debuffs from Hades himself, which they use religiously. Champs will go out of their way to sneak behind a target, even if it costs the mages in the party their lives. Their worst fear is the message ?The target has already had this effect?. Shield specced champs are looked upon as the red headed stepchild and shunned from even other champs.
Typical quotes:
?HOLY CRAP, INSTI?S + ANNIHILATION ROCK!!?
?Why do I have to CAST my self buff? It should be insticast.?
?I can too PBAE, here watch?
?Can someone explain to me why my con doesn?t go up every level??
?But I thought I could kill the Paladin?.?
?Need a Rezz for my Mages?

Chapter 2: Magicians

Eldritch ? Cousin to the Fire Wizards of Albion, the Eldritch is the primary caster, in the magic realm. The misguided soul who made this class believed this entitled him to unleash horrible damage upon other players, leaving only scorching piles of ash in the wake. Unfortunately, he?s been driven mad with the fact that he will never out damage any primary caster. This has led to multiple mental breakdowns, barking orders at people, hopelessness, drinking, threatening to quit if they don?t? 2 shot the next tank, and talking to himself in the third person. Despite the many utility spells available to the Eldritch, they will continue to spam their DD button, pressing it harder and faster in the hopes that it will help them do more damage.
Typical quotes:
?WTF?? You resisted me? I?m an Eldritch, you?re not allowed to resist.?
?I just kited a tank for 9 minuets then got killed by an assassin in 2 hits.?
?NOBODY was near him!!! How was he in COMBAT???
?Where?s my BFG??
?Nearsight Rocks!?
?Damnitt, Nearsighted, afk 2 min.?
?Heal me ple?..Need Rezz?

Mentalist ?Possibly the most confusing class to play. Even other Hibernians have no clue what the hell they want a Mentalist to do. Heal? Mezz? Stun? Regen? Dots? DD?s? Charms? Who knows. Every encounter with a Mentalist is different. This open door playstyle entices many of the more mature, thinker-type people to play the class. However, morons like us yelling at them to Mezz/Dot/Heal/Regen all at the same time, gives them a nervous breakdown; forcing them to use their respec just to ?Blow shit up?.
Typical Quotes:
?Damnitt Jim, I?m a Mentalist, not a miracle worker.?
?hehehe Did you see all those people?s heads who were wracked in pain? Too bad you don?t get rps while dead.?
?For the love of God, STOP /yelling ?Need regen? and FIND me.?
?This is my pet, He?s a 234th level Glacier Giant named Jeff?
?Pet broke?..Need Rezz.?

Enchanter ? Possibly one of the simpler casters in the game. You just don?t get a lot of toys to play with, which makes Enchanters a very envious class. Sure they can do insane amounts of damage, but they suffer a reverse of the Eldritch. They prefer utility to damage, and will constantly whine about only being able to rip someone to shreds instead of hampering them 15 different ways. Enchanter?s casting pets are feared by every person even remotely near a keep. This X-Ray vision Kryptonian descendent tends to light people on fire with it?s heat vision through solid objects. While this is seen as an exploit, most enchanters cater to their pet?s every need, afraid their little buddy will one day leave with nothing but a good-bye note saying he returned to Krypton.
Typical quotes:
?Go go gadget pet?
?But I can?t do anything else other than blast people?.?
?What?s that Lassie? Timmy?s stuck in a keep??
?Gah, he purged Stun. F**k me??
?Did you see that awesome PBAE Deathspam? That was totally sweet!! Need Rezz?

Chapter 3 ? Naturalists

Wardens ? Seen as the most defensive tank/healers alive, these guys are practically a walking Trans Formers, able to adapt themselves to the majority of situations. Their only weakness is against Casters who easily penetrate their Pulsing Blade Turn while laughing. High melee defense comes at a price, Wardens have the damage potential of a de-clawed kitten on steroids. Constantly explaining to everyone else that they can?t kill anyone in less than 15 min. they resign themselves to running their PBT and healing/rezzing their group mates?.all the time wishing they could be a Hero with Self buffs and a PBT. Two or more of these friendly Autobots in a group is a boon for any Guardian class who wants to seem invincible. Wardens rarely have time between groups and tend to try and solo often as they are sick of being invited into every group in a 5 zone radius.
Typical Quotes:
?Not enough Power for PBT?
?I?ve been fighting this Healer for 18 min. Can someone kill him please??
?What do you mean PBT doesn?t work on spells??
?This time I?m going to kill someone.?
?You Need another Rezz??

Bards ? A must for any PVE or RvR group, this speedy little infi-sprinting guy is just what everyone needs. They have a spell which halts 12 mobs dead in their tracks, or 1 mage without purge. Being able to Rezz, buff and heal at least gives them something to do when not complaining about AE mezz breaking. They get weapon styles and decent armor to be able to fight in Melee, unfortunately that never happens. In order to give you morons the power and endurance you keep spamming them in group for, these noble naturalists have to play a stupid looking instrument while being beat on with a 10 foot pole-arm.
Typical Quotes:
?Getitoffgetitoffgetitoff!!?
?Did you just AE Dot that entire group? /cry?
?I?ll be back to Rezz?
?Watch this, I can twist End and Speed?.oops, damn lag..?
?Need Rezz?

Druids ? The buffing, healing, gray-pet using class which is the band-aide to all PvE/RvR groups. Most druids have sacrificed the Roots/AE roots/High level Dots to be able to keep you Alive. They also increase your damage potential in encounters and will often get pissed if you don?t do ENOUGH damage. Druids invite multiple Wardens into their groups because their realm mates make way too many idiotic mistakes for them to cover up. Trying to keep a caster based realm alive isn?t an easy task. They commonly laugh at the other Realm?s healers who only have to worry about keeping tanks with 2500+ hp alive.?.then they break down in tears blaming it on their Mother. To ease the druid?s suffering they are given a pet, commonly referred to as ?Skippy the uber-gray?. Druids will often summon a specific pet, be it cat, dog, or tree, depending on their mood. In most instances a Druid will be without a pet as some passing by Paladin one shot it.
Typical Quotes:
?USE STYLES!!?
?I see dead people?
?hahahaha I dotted someone for 4 points of damage heheheh ::sniff:: ::sniff:: /cry??
?What are your stats at now??
?We?re mezzed? Well NOT NOW!!?..ok?now we?re stunned??
?I can?t believe I lived through that?..I?ll rezz you guys when they leave.?

Chapter 4 ? Stalkers:

Rangers ? Contrary to their name, they don?t have the best range in the game, and constantly blame Scouts for their failures in life. Having to solo for 50 levels has seriously pissed most of these animal friendly people off. They constantly compare their damage to Scouts and continue to /appeal for a shield stun. Annoyed that Longshot and Volley wasn?t included in the bow line, most Rangers respecced to up their melee skills. This allows them to out tank most BM?s while being able to stealth and fire a bow for 300+ damage. Rangers are very proud of their self buffs, especially their speed buff and will constantly use it for no other reason than to beat a Bard.
Typical Quotes:
?Damn Bladeturn??
?Damn See Hidden??
?Damn they ran out of range??
?Damn Zerkers??
?Damn I got one??
?Damn need Rezz??

Nightshades ? An Assassin with an identity crisis. They were given the ability to cast DD?s and Snares, and by God they?re going to use them. Commonly seen breaking stealth with blue ripples signifying they?ve just snared their own private Scout, these little beauties can kick most tank?s ass in melee. Their main toy is climbing keep walls to check and see if anyone is inside crafting. They?ll check back on that keep 4-5 times throughout the day to kill any crafters. Getting RP?s would be far easier if they just went out to emain and killed mages/archers but they won?t hear it. No siree. Killing crafters is a prestige thing with them. Sometimes they get out alive and then let everyone in their guild know that they actually assassinated something.
Typical Quotes:
?Holy crap, I just killed a mage with my DD?s.?
?Ignore Pain ROCKS!!?
?I hate True Sight.?
?So I met this tank today who thought he could ?kill me? No no?..true story?stop laughing.?
?GAH!!! DAMNITT, missed my PA due to Lag?
?Need a Rezz when you break through those keep doors.?

[da_chyp]

lol das is geil^^ *tanz2*